


tommyinnit's hateful existence

by BoaBoa



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Avian Tommyinnit (Video Blogging RPF), Bird Hybrid TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Blood, Dream Team SMP Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Emotional Manipulation, Exile, Gen, Happy Technoblade, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Impulsive TommyInnit, Neglectful Dad Phil, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pain, Slow Burn, So he can be pseudo family, Techno would be too but he "rejects the family canon", Technoblade is done, Vendettas, Violence, Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, Winged Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Winged TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:15:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29771232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoaBoa/pseuds/BoaBoa
Summary: Tommy escapes exile after 5 years, and without a goal in mind, he settles in an oak forest next to a tundra. One day he sees Technoblade walking through the snowy landscape, heading towards the woods that Tommy lived in. Tommy then decides to follow him, and in hindsight, admits that it may be the worst decision he's ever made in his entire life.(tl;dr: Tommy hates his family. And Dream.)
Relationships: Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 266





	1. Ah yes, shit.

**Author's Note:**

> Though this fic is labeled "slow burn," I don't plan on it being boring. It's fast paced, but my writing style is excruciating, so please bear with me.
> 
> I'm open to critique, and love hearing the readers thoughts, so please feel free to comment! It means more than the world.
> 
> Also, please mind the tags. There there for a reason.

Tommy’s not sure how long it had been, he was just trying to make it through the snow cladded landscape before he died from frostbite or something. One foot in front of the other for miles on top of miles, as long as he can until he can’t anymore. Left, right, left, right, left, right.

He doesn’t know how long it had been since he left the used-to-be-Logstedshire with ringing ears and shrapnel decorating him like a Christmas tree. Like Christmas with red and green, but it's only red. And there’s no lights. Or ornaments, unless you consider cuts and lacerations to be ornaments. But you probably don’t. Tommy doesn’t.

Where was he even going? How would he get there when everywhere he looked was coated in a layer of pristine white snow? It’s clear nothing living had been here in days. Not a great sign.

Tommy found himself limping and dragging his feet, which he couldn’t hardly feel anymore. He stopped and looked behind him, noting that he could no longer see the forest he left while running into the frosty wonderland turned hell. The sun was starting to go down, and before long he would find himself being eaten alive by mobs. Literally.

Resolutely, he decides to make a shelter for the night, looking for a tree or hill to scrap something from. The cold has been stinging his eyes and mixing with the ash from the TNT, blurring his vision and therefore making scouting far more difficult a feat than it would have been otherwise. 

Eventually he clears out an area and mines some dirt, having been unable to find any wood. He carves out an unconventional hollow in record time, blocking himself in as soon as the sun sinks below the horizon. Though he’s still cold and wearing the scraps that are barely even clothing anymore, he manages to warm up a little as his hot breath fills the air and the earth protects him from the winds outside.

Sleep didn’t come easily anymore, it hasn’t since he first joined the Dream SMP. He’s older now, having lived 16 precious years only to find himself overwhelming alone and frigid by himself in the ground. 

He chuckled, realizing that everybody would think that he died. There may not have been a message, but the bloodied and blundered remains of his home don’t leave much open for interpretation. 

Though he’s not sure how they’d find out anyway, he hasn’t had a visitor other than Dream in years. And thinking about it now, there’s no way Dream would tell anyone. 

Tommy pulled himself into a tight hug, pushing Dream out of his mind as he felt the two stubs on his back. There’s no use in thinking about Dream, it won’t help anything. There’s no point. There’s no point at all.

He fell asleep somewhere along the line. Awake now however, Tommy’s not sure whether it’s day yet, so he shovels some dirt out of the wall to see if there’s any light. To Tommy’s relief, he can see the sun starting to peak over some mountains in the far, far distance. As fresh freezing air starts to flood his dreary and hot dirt cave, he realizes that he should start preparing to leave and compose himself. 

He didn’t have anything to bring with him, but he tore a few scraps off of his shirt to wrap around the worst of his wounds and bring out tiny pieces of wood, stone, and iron from his skin before his body heals over them. By the time Tommy gives up on taking them all out (seeing as he can’t see his back, or bend over because of a particularly deep cut in his gut) he kicks down the dirt entrance and departs for the mountainous area he could see where the sun had risen from. There was sure to be a biome shift over there, and Tommy just thanked the gods for his luck.

Though the mountains were technically in his vision, he realized it would take all week to reach them. He could only hope that there were woods somewhere along the way (as there usually was around mountains and tundra.)

He started his exhausting hike once again and just hoped that he wouldn’t develop some sort of hypothermia. 

When a cluster of oak trees entered his vision, Tommy almost cried in relief. The sun was just past mid sky, Tommy assumed that it was either 1-2PM by now. He started to run-- as much as someone who had one foot in a grave could anyway. 

As soon as he stepped foot in the handsome, sexy green grass that he had missed so dearly, he felt the biome shift encompass his entire body and the new summer time element warm him. 

Without diving into the specifics of his ceremonious elation, Tommy began mining wood and collecting materials quick as he could. By the time the next day had arrived, Tommy had built himself a small oak wood shed and started mining for iron. It’s the first time that Tommy was able to hold on to his materials and tools in literal fucking years.

It felt strange-- being left to himself that is. There was no one to blow up his stuff or keep him from going wherever he wanted. He could grow however much he wanted! And no one could stop him or tell him what to do. (Even though he knows it’s because nobody cares anymore.)

Tommy passes a month in that oak forest, L’manburg and Pogtopia and Logstedshire and Dream forgotten in favor of paving his living. Though he spent his entire life living off of others' hard work, Tommy is finally in a position where he can care for himself. He didn’t spend 5 years in exile to starve to death.

The great TommyInnit may have been too young to work back during the war, but now? While looking over at the small farm and cabin he’s managed to start, he felt like he was on top of the world. 

There wasn’t much else for him to do other than wait for his crops to grow, especially since he’d already had a diamond pic and axe, which is really all that’s necessary in Tommy’s opinion. And though he’d finished all of the goals for a comfortable living, he couldn’t just sit around and do nothing. He had so much energy buzzing around inside of him, it was becoming unbearable.

He thinks he’s lonely decidedly and embarks on a mission to tame a wolf. He had bones left over from past hunting and a few skeletons he absolutely destroyed. Chewing on some jerky, he walked along the line between the white heath and woods.

In the short time he’s lived in the woods, Tommy hasn't yet come across a wolf, so this expedition may take quite a long time. Thinking on it, this is a pretty healthy goal to pursue. Though it may get a bit boring after a little while. Eh, he’ll cross that bridge when it comes down to it.

While Tommy had been having a dandy time thinking about how he’d find or trap a wolf, a multitude of bright colors other than white crosses to the right of him. For a second, Tommy thought he was seeing things, but looking again he realized it was growing closer. And closer. And closer. 

Tommy, like the big, smart man he was, thought it was just a mooshroom or zombie or villager that was just misplaced somewhere in the tundra. That much would have made sense to Tommy. What didn’t, you may ask? TECHNOBLADE. THE Techno la Blade.

As in Tommy’s (maybe)brother, Phil’s student, and, oh yeah, the guy that BLEW UP L’MANBURG… the second time. That is the man that Tommy sees walking through the tundra in the middle of nowhere. Tommy hasn’t seen Technoblade since before exile, and just assumed he was still out killing things like the good ol’ blood god always has.

Apparently not.

Hiding behind a tree(cause he’s smart and not stupid), Tommy watches as Technoblade approaches, noting the small nuances about him that have changed in the past 5 or so years.

The Techno from Tommy’s memory had always been covered head to toe in blood and clothes befitting a king. Techno, since even before Tommy can remember, always strut with a distant air and his gait had always been stiff and awkward. 

In summary, Tommy can not remember a point in time where Technoblade had been entirely relaxed. (Except for that one time Tommy snuck into Phil’s room to ask for water but found him braiding Technoblade’s hair. That had been forever ago.)

So Tommy’s double take is totally understandable when he saw Technoblade walking calmly into the woods with a tiny quirk to his lips. He looked like a stranger. It wasn’t only his expression or actions, but Techno was only wearing a sleeved blouse, leather sweats, and an obi-cinch belt. Jewelry-wise he wasn’t even wearing his crown, just a loose, gold necklace.

It genuinely confused Tommy. How could Techno look so happy and relaxed? What happened while Tommy had been gone in Logstedshire alone with Dream? Who did this and why?

As Technoblade entered the woods only a few meters off, Tommy wasn’t left with much time to think as he weaved through the cluster of trees in order to keep up with Technoblade. It may not be the best idea that Tommy’s conjured, but there’s no way he could possibly feel comfortable in the same vicinity as Technoblade.

And so the stalking goes.


	2. Wikihow: My Brother Is Older???????

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Technoblade thinks some and finds someone to stress over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. Two post one night, george pass me the blunt. (You should really check out the song "Georgenotfound's onlyfanz"
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy!

Technoblade needed more wood. He’d already chopped most of the trees around his home and was in dire need of something to burn and build. He spent a few hours considering using the sappy pine woods before realizing that there was a small oak forest not far off from his home.

Packing his things, Technoblade set off.

He’s been retired for 3 years and has found a comfortable routine that he enjoys thoroughly. In the beginning, Technoblade had no idea what to do with himself. There was nothing that he particularly wanted to do either considering there were no wars going on in the immediate moment.

Those first few months had been near unbearable, the voices pestered him nonstop, giving him excruciating migraines everyday, non-stop for weeks. At some point livestock didn’t work anymore, so he had to get used to the violent voices again. (In the past some light murder would’ve been fine, but even if he wanted to kill somebody now, he wouldn’t be able to find anyone in this barren biome.)

But even with his slow acclimation to the voices in his head, Technoblade felt terribly depressed. At the time his house hadn't been much more than four walls and a roof and a bed. All he ever did back then was sleep, and whenever he woke up he ate and went back to sleep.

At the time, his health was deteriorating because of his inactivity, and he just couldn’t find any motivation. Eventually, when Phil came around to visit, Technoblade was forced to get up and do something. 

“Techno! Oh my god, you look terrible, what have you been doing?”

Phil had just walked in at the time and was faced with his pseudo-son’s stagnating state. He rushed over and pestered Technoblade onto his feet and fed him some food. The entire time Technoblade stayed silent.

It was pretty embarrassing. Though it wasn’t intentional, Technoblade did realize that he was in a bad state. Having the only person who mattered in the world see him in that pathetic, weary condition, was an experience he wanted to forget and never remember.

In the end, Phil started to visit him everyday, helping with building, chores, and meals. Phil’s daily visits slowly trickled into visits once a week or once a month. Technoblade sees his feathers dulling, and reluctantly acknowledges that there are more important and stressful things for Phil to deal with other than himself. 

Which is especially true considering how happy Technoblade had been recently. The voices being placated, his health being at an all time high, and his relationship with Phil being stronger than ever before.

He’s been great. But that doesn’t mean he’s lost his edge through retirement and relaxation.

As soon as Technoblade started approaching the oak woods, he could feel something’s gaze. The who, what, and where are still in question, but he’s sure that it’s following him as he continues to weave through the trees. 

He walks for another ten or so minutes without acknowledging them, noting that they’re just off to his back left. The constant crunching of grass and leaves does not make it very difficult to find out. Technoblade’s not sure if they’re stupid or not.

Sighing, Technoblade turns around, he hears a shuffling before a flash of skin vanishes behind a tree. Technoblade brandishes his axe, just in case.

“Come out here. I know you’re there.”

The other person doesn’t say anything, but Technoblade can still hear them shifting behind the tree. Definitely stupid.

“Dude, one more chance before I go over there myself.”

As Technoblade started walking, a boy appeared from behind the tree. The boy seemed like he was wearing a façade of confidence, his chest puffed out yet the shaking in his knees still obvious.

Technoblade felt himself relax while looking at the boy, there was no way this shrimp could do anything to him. Technoblade’s eyes swept over the parallel figure, cringing at the clear abrasions covering their body. Their clothes were basic at most, a new leather jacket, a wool shirt, and cotton pants that were all grievously stitched together.

Even through the thick clothes, cuts and gashes were apparent everywhere Technoblade looked, all scabbed over and crusted with blood. Other than the bright red lesions, the boys face, arms, and legs were covered in scars. Big and small, new and old. Didn’t seem like a fun time.

The boy had bright blond hair that seemed to be dulled in some places with dirt and grime, and he had sharp blue eyes that didn’t stop moving.

Technoblade found himself facing a dilemma. This boy? This boy was TommyInnit Minecraft.

Technoblade will admit that it has been a fairly long time since he’s seen the child, but no matter who you were, it’s impossible to forget TommyInnit’s eyes and the way they pierce whatever it is that they are looking at. 

Technoblade dropped his axe in disbelief, recollecting himself.

“Tommy? What- what are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be out in Lobster-shed or whatever?”

Technoblade was trying to understand this bizarre situation, so he figured the best way to do that was just to ask.

…

Cool cool. Silence.

“Say something Tommy, you know I’m not great at conversations man. What happened to you? What’s up with your funk ass face?”

For a second it seemed like Tommy was going to say something, but he just shifted in his spot and continued to stare at Technoblade. Incredibly awkward. Also insanely different from the energetic child that Technoblade could vividly recall. 

Technoblade expected to be interrupted or something, but he’s left in silence. He does suppose it may have been a bit much to expect this young man to be the same as the old 9 year old that Technoblade used to know, but there’s really nothing left of him.

With silence permeating the air, Technoblade is left to scour Tommy’s looks once more. Knowing who he'd been looking at finally, Technoblade realizes something morbid.

Something that Technoblade can not believe he didn’t realize immediately. In the past, Tommy had been a fledgling that always fluttered after Phil or Wilbur. Tommy’s bright red baby wings were constantly moving and were always visible, flickering here or there and reacting to Tommy’s emotions.

For the longest time Tommy had boasted about them, preening them until they shined and gliding everywhere that he was able to. They were something that Wilbur and Phil, who had black and grey feathers respectively, could also brag about and enjoyed taking care of. Everybody on the server, on at least some level, was aware of the hybrid Tommy’s shining, hot red wings.

What Technoblade is trying to say is that TommyInnit’s wings were a part of him not only literally, but metaphysically as well. 

And now they were gone.


	3. At Least He Tried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy acts stupid, Technoblade is done, and they head home together. Willingly and otherwise.

What a situation.

Tommy stood across from one of the most powerful people in the entirety of the server. Tommy stood awkwardly, not sure what to do or say. Technoblade had held a grudge against him for the longest time, and thinking further on that, there’s a small chance that Techno may kill Tommy.

That wouldn’t be good. There’s a 50/50 chance that Tommy won’t leave this altercation, and Tommy just hopes that Technoblade’s good mood carries into pity. There’s nothing Tommy could do either way, he had a worn stone and an iron chestplate, there’s no way he could beat Technoblade who held a netherite axe that looked to have full enchantments.

“-at happened to you? What’s up with your funk ass face?”

Tommy scowled for a second. Excuse him? What did that pig assed bitch just say? Well excuse Tommy for being a little hurt, it’s not like he wanted to look like that.

He almost said something, feeling a spurring indignation, but very, very quickly remembers that-- oh yeah, Technoblade-- and shut up once again.

Silence, once again, was all that filled the air between them. Tommy could see the moment that Techno took note of his lack of wings. The horror and his widened eyes are something that Tommy hasn’t had the privilege to see in the past.

Tommy tried to disregard the lack of weight on his back, but it’s difficult not to when Technoblade just sat there quietly while staring pointedly around Tommy’s shoulders where two feathered appendages should hang. When Tommy had “lost” his wings 4 years ago he barely survived, even after he had healed, there was no ambition to survive. 

At the time Tommy had been in exile for a whole year and a half, nobody had visited in a whole month and he Dream had slowly stopped visiting. According to Dream there had been some thick discord going on within L’manburg at the time, so Tommy was left completely alone.

Like the brilliant strong, big man that TommyInnit was, he realized that he could just hide his valuable stuff from Dream the next time he came and visited. It worked for the few next time that Dream stopped by, Tommy gladly gave up his stone and wooden tools in favor of his more durable iron tools and armor. 

His elation didn’t last long however, eventually there came a time where Dream heard the hollow ringing of Tommy’s floor in Tnret.

Tommy had froze and panicked, trying to escape the situation. Dream had hollered and shouted at Tommy, who at the time was admittedly scared. It was a spur of the moment decision, but Tommy ended up flying away in a hectic fit.

From what Tommy could recall, that was the last time he flew. 

What a terrible memory.

“Tommy, what are you doing out here?”

Technoblade seems to have recomposed himself, standing with the same bravado as he always has, only having abandoned his content smirk with a sober regard.

Tommy couldn’t stay quiet much longer, not if he was any less than smart anyway.

“No, what are you doing out here Technoblade? This is a long ways out fro-”

A netherite axe found itself embedded into the tree next to him. Oh.

“For your own good Tommy, please just answer the question.”

Technoblade seemed exasperated and tired, but even then he still closed the gap between them in record time, currently only a few inches off from touching Tommy.

Tommy backed up a little, shoulders rising slightly. Tommy avoided eye contact with Technoblade, not sure what he’d see.

“Well I crossed the tundra from Logstedshire since it’s not far off. I mean, I haven’t bothered anyone so why do you care?”

Technoblade took on an air of confusion.

“No, no, no. Well yes, I guess you did answer… but why are you out of exile? Did Dream let you out or what? And seriously, what is up with the zombie cosplay, chat’s saying you’re basically half dead as is.”

Tommy heard Techno chuckle, chat must be pretty funny. It’s not like Tommy could say he ran away. So he didn’t.

“Ah yeah, uh Dream let me out. Saying something about time being up and the penalty being… reached. So I’m free now! Totally good, so you can just go back home and kill someone or something.”

Not his best performance considering that Technoblade damn near leveled him with a stare that’d make babies cry. But Techno went with it so he’d be safe. Probably.

Techno looked down at Tommy and crossed his arms, “Uh huh. That’s great Tommy. But you know I can’t leave you here alone.”

“What the hell? How the fuck does that logic work? I already know you hate me, just make it easy and go away, no need for the hassle, right?”

Tommy took another step back, preparing to sprint if the need heeds. There was no way he would go with Technoblade, the same guy who’s tried murdering him on several different occasions, the same guy who blew up Tommy’s country, and the same guy that Tommy betrayed and is sure to have a vendetta against him. No way, Tommy may be impulsive or scarred or troubled, but he’s certainly not suicidal(“anymore” he jokes mentally.)

“Tommy, I’ll give you 10 seconds to start following me before I make you.”

Before Techno even started to walk away, Tommy ran away as fast as he could through the forest underbrush. Tommy knew that he couldn’t outrun or outmaneuver Technoblade in any condition, especially not worn and wounded, but it’s the thought that counts, and Tommy was thinking that when Technoblade caught him, he was dead.

Tommy expected that he got about 3 meters out before he hit the ground with Technoblade pressing one knee deep into his back. 

“Let go of me you bitch! I said I don’t want to go prick, leave me alone and go fuck off somewhere else.”

All he got in response was a huffed chuckle and the sliding of fabric. Before long, Tommy’s arms and legs were tied together like a hog and he was being dragged through the tundra by his shirt’s scruff.

Shouting and cursing the entire way, Tommy could only look on in fear and indignation as a warm, small, and homey cabin slowly encroached his vision.

Tommy would say that the freezing air is the cause of his shakes and goosebumps, but his widened eyes and shrunken hide tell the truth to anyone with peering eyes.


End file.
